2008 Mar 3--Philosophy

Hi there,

Transfers have come and gone, and my "killer" is..... Elder Romney J. Fuga from Huntington Beach, CA. Elder Fuga is about 6' 3'' and weighs maybe 290 lbs, and both his parents come from Samoa. I couldn't think of a better person to end my mission with. He reminds me a lot of Elder E in that he's one of the more "chill" companions that I've worked with, and that's good. We are an odd pair walking down the street. All the people we teach are really confused at him: "He's a Malagasy right?" and look at me skeptically when I tell them he's an American. I guess he could pass for a Malagasy ( except that he's about 4 x bigger than just about any Malagasy I've met.) One lady was pretty funny--she said that I was just like a Malagasy with my voice, but that Elder Fuga looks like a Malagasy, so if we combined me and Fuga together into one person we would be exactly like a Malagasy. Fuga's just recently arrived, so all he needs to do is work on the accent, and people won't be able to tell the difference. I on the other hand, have done all I can do and sadly remain, "Stuck-up, Rich, French Guy" to all but a select few of the people here-- but I do appreciate the "select few" to whom I am "Efa 'Gasy fa tsy Vahaza intsony" (already a Malagasy, but no longer a Vahaza.)

I loved my transfer with PJ S. We had a good last week together and ended the transfer strong. Last Monday, he and I ran into a German guy who thought we were business men, and then was blown away when he learned we spoke Malagasy and that we were in fact, missionaries. He was about 65 and looked and sounded a bit like Elder Uchdorf, only not clean-shaven, and "morally unsound" for lack of a better description. Anyway, he invited PJ S and me to drink some coffee with him.
Obviously we said, "No," to the coffee but agreed to go and talk with him.
"That's OK," he says, "They serve Tea here as well."
We settled for some juice. It was delicious. So, the conversation began, and he became the first white guy that actually wanted to talk about religion with us during my mission. It was very interesting, and left me feeling a bit sad for the man. He was very intelligent and very polite and respectful to what we were doing. He grew up Protestant in Germany, and in the course of his life decided to abandon "religion" altogether. (I say "religion" because in talking to him, it became apparent that although he subscribed to no particular religious persuasion, he did have a sense of morality in him, and some sort of ideal that he supposedly adhered to.) Elder PJ S, shocked at this man's beliefs or lack of them, asked almost indignantly, "So, you don't believe in God?!"
To which the old man replied, "I don't even ask the question anymore, I don't know if there is or isn't a God, but I don't care anymore, because I don't need to know. All I want to do is to enjoy life. Enjoy everything. That what matters."
I remember how surprised he was that I wasn't disturbed by his answer, I just smiled and kept talking about what things I had discovered to be true in the short span of time I've lived. He was impressed. But it all subsided back to, "You're so young. You never know what happens in the future. You'll see." (as if Truth were relative to how old I am.)

We discussed many things, among them was the Apostasy from the Original Church which Christ established and the Book of Mormon. He was intrigued, and he asked for a Book of Mormon, ( " ... in German if possible..") gave us his contact information and we left. This has been "tickling my brain" for the past week, as they would say here. I feel genuinely sad for this man. I couldn't help but think of the scripture in D&C which talks about those souls blinded by "the subtle craftiness of men" as I talked with him. To what purpose were his beliefs? I felt that I may have arrived at a similar conclusion about life as he did had I been brought up any other way. I thought it a shame that an intelligent and pleasant person such as he should be so fed up with "religion" that he does not "ask the question" anymore. But in my discussions with these so-called "religious people," I can understand where he's coming from. I cannot tell you how many people have passionately tried to tell me that, "the 'true' sabbath is on Saturday, therefore you are going to hell for believing otherwise," or any other such ridiculous rubbish related thereto ( IE: no more scriptures beyond the bible, or prophets, or eating pork, and the list goes on...)

Lately, I've adopted the tactic of not bashing, but rather asking them to step back for a second and put themselves in my shoes.
I ask them: Where am I from?
Reply: America.
Q: How far is that?
A: Pretty darn far.
Q: Do I get paid to do this?
A: You don't get paid!??
ME: NO, in fact, I'm paying to do this--So, why, for even a fraction of a second, do you seem to suppose that anything you say to blatantly contradict me will have even the slightest effect? You've been at it for a half hour. Bytheway, I'm a Missionary--I read scriptures everyday, that's kinda what makes me a missionary. I might just possibly know more about it than you if only by virtue of my having more time and resolve to do so. Furthermore, I didn't even know what Malagasy was before I got here-- most people don't outside of this place--So consider for a moment, if you will, what I am doing and why I am doing it. I didn't come here to argue with anyone, nor yet to "convince" anyone that I am right and they are wrong. That would be an absolute waste of time. (and money--which seems to hit home a little harder with a lot of people I've taught.) I don't come to destroy your beliefs, I bring the truth, as I have come to know it and it's wonderful--and I'll bet that we have quite a lot in common. I only invite you to experience the rest of the truth. You already have some truth, from whatever source it may have come, so until you are willing to; and then do the same for what you believe, we have nothing to argue about.

Most of the time this shuts people right up and they give me time to speak. If not, they didn't want to do anything but argue with the white guy anyway, so we don't go back; because we have no time--there are other sincere people out there to be taught. Call the above "method" of "bashing" a bit harsh if you like, but I too, like the German guy, am fed up with "religion" as most people see it. I'm more concerned with truth--and with it--true happiness. Nothing else matters.

Well, I have lots more to say on the subject, but I think you get the gist of it. If you can, you should read the section on the importance of studying Theology near the beginning of James E. Talmage's, Articles of Faith, and maybe he can articulate better what I've been trying to get at.

But I love you all and maybe next week, I'll try and send you some pictures. But I gotta go now.

Happy Birthday Mica on Saturday ( I had that written in my planner, but the computer was all messed up last week and I didn't get a chance to say so before Saturday, but "Happy Birthday!" all the same.) You too Dad on the 14th--Pi day.

OK, Love you, Veloma!

Elder Draper

2008 Feb 26--French Keyboards

I'm Alive.

Seriously, that's all the time I have: And I',m writing on qa french keyboqrd and sick of trying to figure it out:

Veloma Elder Drqper

2008 Feb 20--Power Failure

Well hi,

This is the "I'm alive" E-mail for the week. I'm sorry to disappoint you. In this past week, the weather has been unkind to this part of the world, and with the rain came the random power failures all over the city. So on Monday, I spent about 45 minutes trying to work the computer and trying to get a connection, and the power goes out and then comes back on just long enough to give me hope enough to keep trying (and this after visiting 2 other E-mail cafes to no avail--so my patience was already wearing thin--but you could say that my patience has gotten a bit "fatter" since I've been here so... * funny; my patience has done the exact opposite thing that my physical appearance has done. Ironic ve izany?:) then the power goes out again. So, P-day wasn't really P-day because we didn't get to do anything fun. We had to cut everything short to go for our president's interviews and after getting there on time, and then waiting 2 hours, he comes out and says, "Well, I'm out of time, can you come back here tomorrow?" Sigh. So we used yesterday's lunch hour for the president's interview, and now I'm using today's lunch hour to E-mail you this " letter/note?" thing.

Some good news: I spoke to Dr. Thomas, the area doctor, on the phone about my back problem. He told me that as far as he could tell, he could see no medical reason why I shouldn't be able to stay until the end of April, so that's when my departure date will be. As far as I know now, my departure date is April 29 or 30. When I get the travel itinerary I'll give you the details.

Well, I love you all. I'm definitely keeping busy, and I like it that way. I hope next week will bring a better E-mail on my part. Also, the Elders in my house want to believe me when I tell them that "Swedish pancakes are better than crepes." I sense some skepticism. So could I get that recipe from you guys? That would be delicious. OK I gotta go. Veloma!

Elder Draper

2008 Feb 11--I Never Know What to Write

Akorihaby! (that's "manahoana daholo" in Betsileo. A different dialect which I like)

Well Hi,

As always, I never know what to write about. Writing, for me at least, is hard. I look with envy at the missionaries sitting next to me as they effortlessly write long letters to everyone they know, and in no time at all. How do they do it? I have no clue. I can't bring myself to write a letter full of, "and then we did this, and then we did this, and after that we did this. . . etc." I stress and fret and think about everything I write, and then I read it over again and rephrase, cut and paste, omit and delete, and then some. It takes forever to do this. And even then, I still don't think I really get it right. Half the time, I probably end up conveying a message I didn't intend, and confuse my poor audience in the process. And so, the dilemma continues (this one paragraph took too long to write--if I was going by the other missionaries' standards--and I still don't know if it makes any sense.)
[editor mom note: I think we're hangin' in with you ]

Down came the rain this week. And we got wet, to say the least. I saw a lightning bolt strike a house about a football field away, and all of the power go out in a shock wave from that point. There were sparks, then it was dark, but it was cool to see. My companion's back was turned at the time, but he still thought it was cool.

In other news, I'm still teaching the Kartchner's kid guitar, along with two other English Speaking kids, Simon, from Ghana, and Koji, from Japan. Lincoln (Kartchner) has gotten pretty good. Simon is a bit apathetic and I think his parents want him to learn guitar ( he likes PJ S though,) and Koji is already amazing at guitar and we mostly swap ideas and techniques. It's depressing how bad I've gotten, but oh well.

The work is going well. We're keeping ourselves busy and happy.

I've spoken to my president about my departure date and I'm thinking if all goes well, I should be home in May. (April 30 officially) But we'll see. President's "concerned" about my back and thinks I should go home early, but I want to talk to a doctor first because I've already dealt with this for more than a year, and I don't see how much worse 1 month is gonna make it. Besides, I'm gonna have to wait and make some money before I get it checked out in America anyway. And really, it's more of an annoyance than anything else--nothing too serious--So I think I will extend if possible.

But life's good. Elder Stdt, one of my favorite companions, is back in the same house with me, and it's cool. We're having fun.

Well, I'm out of time. But I love you all. Talk to ya next week. Veloma!

Elder Draper

[editor mom note: That makes about 300 different Elders that start with S--we should have numbered them S1, S2, S3, etc.]

2008 Feb 4--Rebirth & Death

Well Hi,

I've no idea what I'm gonna write about. . .

This week has been a bittersweet one. Lots of rain. Last Saturday, I was able to baptize one of the longest standing investigators that I and several other missionaries--long since gone home--have ever taught. Ironically, I was able to baptize Abel Nirina, an 'Eternigator' of more than 4 years, and he ends up having the shortest name I've ever had to say in a baptism. Abel had been dropped several times by several different missionaries because circumstances were such that he could not be baptized due to marriage papers. 4 years. But he kept coming to church and reading and basically doing everything a member does, but remained an investigator.

I remember over a year ago, when I was in Ankadindramamy with Elder D (my 2nd transfer,) I went on splits to a different area and met Abel for the first time. He was described as an 'eternigator' ( long time investigator, not likely to be baptised) back then. Over a year later, I ended up working in that "other area" ( Analamahitsy) and picking back up the "dropped-several-times-eternigator," Abel. We worked with him, and stopped by enough just to show that we still cared ( He had become pretty discouraged by the time I got there,) and helped him through some things. We never expected that things would change. But life's like that sometimes. For some reason, I happened to be the missionary teaching Abel when everything opened up for him to be baptized. I took care of the details, and then transfers came, so I left. But last week, I received a phone call informing me that Abel wanted me to baptize him (probably by virtue of my being the missionary teaching him when he became eligible for baptism.) His son, Sergio, in the mean time had turned 8 and was baptised with him. So that was nice.

On a sadder note, I attended a funeral this week for one of my former investigator's 2 year-old son. Elder Wsgd and I taught Njara Soa and Hery and their family back in Alarorbia. I remember giving them a baptismal date, and then later attending their baptism. Njara Soa is a sweet lady who, even though she can't read, loves the Book of Mormon. She has her soft-spoken husband, Hery, read aloud the book at his slow pace every night. Their 2 year-old son died on Wednesday morning after a week long sickness. They held a funeral for him at the church. I felt inadequate to give any sort of comfort so I just gave the father a hug ( definitely NOT a Malagasy thing to do, but I think he appreciated it.) Njara Soa didn't attend the funeral. I still feel sad from the experience. I remember that kid.

There is more to be said about both of these experiences, and I'm sure there's more to report about this week, but these events have occupied my mind this week. I don't know what to make of it. I really do care about these people. Not that this comes as a surprise, it's just something to ponder upon is all.

Well, I love you all. I'm excited for this week. Thanks for all the letters. Until next week. Veloma!

Elder Draper

2008 Jan 28--Don't Drink the Water

I just got caught in the rain. I'm soaking wet and cold as I write this, so my hands are numb and shaking slightly. It's a bit tedious. Seriously, there is a puddle forming below my chair, and the cyber-cafe people are rolling their eyes at me.

I was sad to get the news about President Hinckley. I was hoping to see another conference with him. But I'm happy for him too, he had a good run, and he's with his wife now.

This week was a long one. Elder PJ S got sick on Tuesday and stayed sick all week. So I spent a lot of time reading and cleaning. PJ S and 7 other missionaries across the mission came down with the same thing. Our best guess as to why is that the water is too dirty to drink--even the filtered stuff at our houses--due to the rainy season. The office suggested (actually more commanded really,) that we drink only bottled water. This will cost more than a third of our already tight and always declining allotment, on drinking water alone. So, until they come up with a solution to that little dilemma ( which seems unlikely,) I'm boiling my water. (I'm opting for the spirit of the law on this one.) I haven't gotten sick yet. I'm probably adapted to all sorts of crazy microbes swimming around inside me presently just because I've lived here so long.

I'm sitting next to some discontented missionaries right now--all of whom are writing angry presidents letters about this--so it occupied my thoughts just there. Sorry.

I'm hoping this week will go better, and that Elder PJ S will get better, so we can work and focus our efforts on positive things.

Ok, I'm cold, and I gotta go change my clothes or something. But thanks for all the letters. I'll talk to ya next week.

Elder Draper

2008 Jan 21--Gilbert the Chameleon

Hi there,

It was a good week. Elder PJ S and I moved away from Elder S and his companion into a house that is more convenient to our area. The house is much better. It is the former AP's house just down the street from the mission office. It is also the very first house that I ever stayed at in the country, and looks as though it will be the last. It also has water-pressure. We have moved into this house with Elders W...ton and J. In our first week we've killed 2 rats (the 3rd rat, Mitchell, as he has come to be known, is still at large, even though I personally stabbed him 3 times with a fire-poker whilst he was pinned in between the wall and some bamboo furniture by Elder S.) Charlie (* Mitchell's brother and the 2nd rat) on the other hand, met a violent death by kitchen knife and frying pan at the hands of Elder PJ S. It was pretty gruesome. We don't use that knife anymore.)

I received an unexpected letter ( more of a note really) this week from Elder S before I left the house. Essentially, the note was an apology for the notorious "robbed-twice-got-sick-and-almost-died" Draper and S transfer that happened a year ago. The noted started, "I've been trying to write this letter for a while, and now since we're moving houses I figure this is as good a time as any to write you. . . " and then proceeded to apologize for his behavior of which, "he was not particularly proud of. . ." I was taken aback by this note. I remember apologizing personally to S a long time ago for that transfer, and feeling like that was about as "resolved" as that transfer was ever going to get, and basically moved on. But something was missing. I still felt like S was bitter and his opinion of me was permanently scarred. This didn't bother me too much, but every so often I would be eating lunch or in a conversation with another missionary and the missionary would look at me a say, "S said that you're like this," or "S said you were a (an) ----" ( inappropriate descriptive word) "But I think you're really cool. Why does S hate you so much?"

Then some ( not all) of the frustration of that transfer would return. This note surprised me. I didn't know that it had been bothering him for so long, but I'm happy for S that he was finally able to move on as well, which actually helped me really move on. I can't be sure, but I feel like me living in the same house with S again, even if only for 2 weeks, helped him write the note and forgive me too. Happy sigh of relief.

Speaking of unexpected events, I finally got the package you sent! and it was free! ( for me at least, which usually doesn't happen on this end.) So, cool. It was wonderful, thank you. Jesse, the book is incredible and I'm showing it to everyone-- missionaries, the couples, and Malagasys (the latter loved the pictures, the former thought the whole book was cool, so considering the audience, your book is an utter success all around thus far, and more particularly on your side of things :) ) The rest of the package was delicious. I gave the "Burt's Bees" chapstick to Elder PJ S because he literally squealed when he saw it, then he and 4 other people in the room ranted and raved about how good Burt's Bees is. So they were impressed by the chapstick, and Elder PJ S would like to thank you for it. Apparently, he gets a birthday package soon and he hopes for 2 jars of "Murray's Pomade" (you remember that stuff Jesse?) and he wants to give me one. So that's cool. We'll see, I guess. If not, I'm definitely getting that stuff again when I get home:)

In other news, the work goes on. I discovered that people here are deathly afraid of large chameleons. On Saturday, PJ S and I found and caught one of these large chameleons ( tarondro) and walked around town with it. I've never felt so powerful before. Men, Women and Children kept a cautious 10 ft radius around us (where possible) and nobody called us "vazaha" more than once before they saw the foot and a half dinosaur-looking lizard in my hand. Usually it ended up sounding like, "Bonjour VazahAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaahhh....!" (Obnoxious grown man running away from you, screaming. Satisfaction defined.) But really, I think it helped our cause, because once we were a "safe distance" away, they couldn't help but laugh at themselves for how embarrassingly scared they had become of something not all that scary; and then follow us-- laughing at everyone else getting hilariously scared of the same thing. The equivalent of a parade accumulated 10 feet behind us as we walked down the road. We got a lot of contacts in the process. We took the chameleon home. He's still on the wall downstairs. His name was "Rakotomasiakabe" but now it's just "Gilbert," and that seems to have stuck.

On Tuesday, I finally went to see a chiropractor, after much pain and many sleepless nights. Apparently, I'm a very "tense" person, due possibly to my "intensity" and accumulated stress not properly discarded. I think maybe I've been caught in a vicious-cycle of stress-producing mindsets and situations. I'll have to get the whole run down of health problems when I get home and probably see a physical therapist and a chiropractor ( preferably one that speaks English.) Until then, I've felt some improvement in my back, and I'm working on the stress.

Ok then, I love you all. Have a nice day, and thanks for everything you do. Veloma!

Elder Draper

2008 Jan 14--Light at the End of the Tunnel

Well hi there,

This may once again end up being little more than an, "I'm alive" letter, but I'll have you know I'm alive and enjoying myself. I'll admit, I've had a lot of hang-ups on this mission in dealing with things that I never thought I would have to deal with on the mission. I anticipated culture shock, I anticipated language and even racial barriers, I anticipated a lower standard of living and many other things I'll not mention, that all ended up warranting my anticipation. I've dealt with these thus far, and hope my perspective has matured in the process. But some things I did not anticipate. These have been my main struggle in the mission.

I'm looking forward to this week. I'm working through a lot of stuff and I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm still walking towards it.

So I've gotta go. I love you. Veloma

Elder draper

2008 Jan 7--Confidence & Paranoia in One House

Hi there,

Nothing much to report this week. The work goes on. My mind has gone blank, and I really don't know what I should write about. Nothing really spectacular or interesting happened this week. Still no package yet. It's probably here, but customs and the post office need to figure out what they need to steal from it first and then how much they want me to pay for it before they say it's arrived. But I'm looking forward to it. No water boots necessary, I'm doing good in the rain. If you remember last year during the Rainy season, I was in 67ha, which is the lowest point in Antananarivo ( therefore, all other areas flowed unto it, literally, and unfortunately. That's probably why I got sick.) It's much better here.

Speaking of rainy season in 67ha last year, I am living in the same house with Elder S again, except that this time I'm not his companion, and it is hoped that no one will break into the house again and steal our stuff. We've made amends. And I beat him twice playing Settlers today ( I get pushed into playing that game everytime, and it's a panic-attack everytime. Even if I win I don't enjoy myself. ("I WON! 'sigh' thank goodness that's over! I'm gonna go eat something. Please don't ever make me play that again.")

Elder PJ S's great. He's always happy. He likes to give people hugs. I just kind of wait for the hugs to be over. Sometimes I wish I were one of those happy hugging people, but I've always felt that people didn't really want to hug me or me to hug them, they just felt compelled to because I was there, and the situation called for it. Maybe there's something wrong with me. I don't know-- I'll just have to add that to the check list.

I may be my own worst critic, but I think I'll be ok this transfer because Elder PJ S can't seem to stop saying how cool he thinks I am, and how he wants to be like me. Perhaps this will balance me out--Perhaps. He even said he was intimidated to be my companion this transfer because he had already, "placed me on a pedestal." I told him very frankly to take me off the "pedestal" as soon as possible before I did something embarrassing or stupid that would otherwise damage his good opinion of me. We're all just people here. So I think I'm off the pedestal, but the compliments persist. After walking away from teaching every one of our appointments, he has turned to me in wide-eyed expression and said, "You taught that lesson perfectly! Seriously, I've got goosebumps! how do you do that!" And it goes on. I'm still trying to figure out what to think of it. This is also funny because Elder PJ S lived with Elder S for 2 months before I got here, and has heard S's perspective on: "What is wrong with Elder Draper," and: "Why I hate Elder Draper," on several occasions and I still ended up impressing Elder PJ S. So I've got the embodiment of my confidence (Elder PJ S) and my paranoia (Elder S) in one house. It's like that Red Dwarf episode, you remember that one? Weird.

So in the mean time, I'm working on being more like Elder PJ S by being very complimentary of him as well, while tying to combat his almost excessive praise of me by applying brutally honest self-appraisal. I really suck at quite a lot of things--it's embarrassing to think about sometimes. But I think I'm doing ok, or I'm getting there at least.

Well, I love you all. Have a nice day and I'll see you in May. Veloma!

Elder Draper

2007 Dec 31--Born in 'Dead Tuesday' Die in 'The Easy Place'

Lovely to hear from you.

Transfers have happened again. And now, after having lived in the Analamahitsy Ward for 8 months, I have moved out. I'm a bit sad to leave to be honest - I really grew to love that place. I felt at home there. But I feel blessed that I was able to stay as long as I did. So, after a great transfer with Elder W, I am now privileged to be working with his 'Empty Sea' companion, Elder PJ S. ( do you remember him?) in what appears to be my dying area, Antanimora, which means roughly, "the easy place." I'm trying to find the connection; I was born in Talamaty which means, "Dead Tuesday." So I was born in Dead Tuesday, and will die in The Easy Place. I guess we'll see just how "easy" it is to die here.

Elder PJ S is from West Valley UT, and is the former companion of my Empty Sea companion, Elder Svr, of Birmingham, England. He is a very enthusiastic person, and thus far a pleasure to work with. In his first transfer with Svr of Birmingham, I helped him order a custom acoustic bass guitar from the same place I got my guitar. It turned out very nicely. I don't know how it worked out, but I couldn't think of a better companion to have right now. We've definitely taken advantage of the guitar and bass combo and have a good wind-down jam session when we get home from working. It feels good to jam with someone again, even if it's limited. We've even written a few "door-approach" songs--maybe we'll try 'em out if it stops raining;-). Speaking of rain, to say "it's pouring" down here in Madagascar is a gross understatement. On Friday, Elder PJ S and I made off like crazy people trudging up past our knees through rivers of muddy-red water that are the streets and paths of Madagascar while everyone else was waving and honking at us from their water-logged cars. It was fun.

I'm excited to work in this new area. It's beautiful here, and the people are wonderful. My companion and I have made a lot of goals for this transfer, so I'm excited to attack those and make some more improvements before I get home. Among the goals is learning some Malagasy Sign Language. We have a member in this ward who is deaf, his name is Jules. We translate for him during sacrament meeting. PJ S is already pretty good at it. Jules said that he was "astonished" ( at least that's what we think he said. I've only just started learning this Sunday.) at how fast we learned what we did ( but Jules is very polite). He gave me a really cool sign name too, but it's impossible to write it to you unfortunately (but all of the other missionaries were jealous cuz mine was the coolest ;-)

Anyway, I love you all. I'm sorry that I didn't really get a chance to talk to Mom and Dad, but I am happy that I got to hear your voices all the same. You all sound great. I'm excited to see you all again. Until then, Mazotoa! dia Veloma!

Elder Draper